CNBC | Sunday, March 23, 2025 
I’m a psychologist who studies couples—5 ‘hard truths’ about marriage most people learn too late in life

Marriage is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys in life. While we often enter it with high expectations, the reality is that marriage is a lifelong learning process. As a psychologist who studies couples every day, I’ve worked with many people who only come to understand the toughest marriage lessons after they’ve experienced conflict, disappointment or a even divorce. If you can accept these five hard truths about marriage now, you’re more likely to have a happy and successful relationship: 1. Love alone isn’t enough to hold a marriage together. Many couples believe that as long as they love each other, everything else will fall into place. But love doesn’t automatically solve differences in communication styles, personal values or long-term goals. 2. You’re going to fight … a lot. One of the biggest misconceptions about marriage is that truly compatible people don’t argue. But not only is conflict inevitable, it’s also essential.  3. Your partner won’t — and can’t — meet all of your needs. Many people enter a marriage thinking that their spouse will be their “everything” — their best friend, emotional support system, cheerleader and problem-solver. While it’s natural to lean on each other for support, expecting one person to fulfill your every need is unrealistic.  4. Without constant maintenance, your marriage will crumble. Many couples underestimate how much work it takes to have a healthy marriage. The honeymoon phase may feel effortless, but over time, life’s responsibilities — work, kids, finances, health — often puts the relationship lower on the priority list.  5. You are both going to change individually. You can’t expect the person you marry at 25 to be the exact same person at 45...Read More